we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
