My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
