Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
