O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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