My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
