I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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