yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Randomize
