'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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