id be glad to
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Randomize
