Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
