margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
