all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
