This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
