wakey wakey hands off snakey
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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