Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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