This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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