So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
