I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
