FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
