And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
