So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
