I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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