dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
