i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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