M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize