The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
