they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
