I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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