Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The uberlube is also flammable
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Your penis caused this!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
