I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ugly people sure do ruin things
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
