Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
