Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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