My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
