I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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