so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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