I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
