Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
