I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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