Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
