the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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