but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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