I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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