For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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