He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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