I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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