a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
