So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
