I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize