what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
