i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
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