Pappa wants mamma naked
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Sober January is a disaster.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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