Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
