i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
