Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
it glows. i had to have it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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